I have been sharing my studio, my house, my bed and my life with one of my closest girlfriends Wynn.  More than a foot of fresh spring snow greeted her when she got off the plane last Saturday (good thing she left her flip-flops at home in Nashville).   Just over a year ago she came to nurse me physically and emotionally through a difficult major surgery.   She needed a “Montana fix” and I needed a “Wynn fix” so I scraped together the moola for a ticket.  Despite the 16 hour days of finish work, “the nest” (studio nap room) was not ready for her even though she had already dubbed it “Wynn’s room” on Facebook.  She arrived early afternoon but the day was gobbled up by what felt like a zillion errands before we bounced up the mountain road in my truck.  Wynn plucked her way through the muck and mud of the construction zone; I opened the studio door with a flourish, stepped aside so that she could enter... 

 “F*CK!” she screamed.

Followed by “F*CK!!!”

and another happy overwhelmed “F*CK!!!”  She grabbed my arm to steady herself.  Tears sprung and rolled down her face.  We held hands.   

Wynn has known me since before my life on the mountain - a looooooooong time.  She congratulated the addition of electricity to my cabin home knowing better than anyone just how much fuel this insomniac burned in her Coleman lanterns during those first years.  Wynn was one of the few guests who ventured to stay during the seven years I lived without plumbing.  She knew all about “Smoky” the sweet o’l retired railroader who let me use his garage shop with the big barrel trash burner stove for a studio.  She cheered me on when I closed in the covered cabin porch with plywood and windows to make a studio at home – dragging my sculptures outside at sunrise each day to work since the ceiling was too low to stand them up inside – then dragging them back before the afternoon mountain thunderstorms.  Wynn met and loved Freeman – the painter for whom I modeled for fourteen years before nursing him through terminal illness.  She cried with me when she heard Freeman died in my arms.  She encouraged me to accept his widow Daisy’s invitation to use Freeman’s studio as my own.   Spacious – complete with an office, a shower and a nap room; I spent more time working and sleeping there than at home during the years I enjoyed Freeman’s special space.  Wynn sent me $1000 when I was busy creating the first five “Reliquaries” for my first solo museum exhibit – too broke for anything but basic food but of course able to buy stained glass and steel – whatever necessary to realize my vision of the works.  She let me take her climbing on slimy rock in the bug and slug infested Tennessee cliffs when I found myself studioless  – she understood my need to push the edge and never gave up on my passion and vision when the  studioless years stretched impossibly long. 

I cannot imagine life without Wynn and felt blessed and excited that she is one of the first to see the studio nearly finished.

A splot of metallic copper paint is shimmering on the back of my hand as I sit down to the computer for a moment – a leftover smudge from the final coat of faux copper painted onto the ceiling of the studio nap room – aka  “the nest.”  Serene.  Heavenly.  Sweet.  The nest has grand views (five windows).  The copper and faux Venetian plaster is a warm earthy cozy welcome respite from the zap happy lime green study below.  The floor will be painted deep purple and a henna-inspired mural painting of the Tree of Life will bloom itself up a wall and onto the ceiling - someday.  Birds and Buddhas are the theme for the nest.  Dreamie.

Last Friday Paul and I packed up all of his tools and took down the scaffolding.  I swept.  We opened the doors so that Momma Nature could blow out the sawdust while I spun around.  The amazing brand NEW pristine inspiring space is…mine. 

I wept. 

Simply sat down on the cement floor of this elegant empty clean-slate compelling place, I felt overwhelmed by the gift, the grace, the years and years of dreaming/struggling/believing and then…this!   Even as I begin to move each truckload of studio stuff from storage I find myself shedding tears and grinning.  I see myself on this big blank first page of a new chapter in a vivid richly packed fully lived book of my life.  Little o’l me…not much bigger than a punctuation point.   There.  On the white page, in the white sunlit studio - a question mark -an exclamation point and three little dots.

                  ? ! ...

Obsessed with finishing the studio, my time is spent painting and staining along with all of the chores and hardware store visits that go along with finishing up a place.  Luckily Lowe’s opens at 6 a.m. so I can enjoy dawn as I zip over the mountain pass with a list and a cup of tea.  Plenty middle-of-the-night shopping sprees on eBay and other places have turned up bargains and a fun twist on normal stuff (like a toilet paper holder).   The wide world offers much more interesting options than Lowes or our wee little Montana stores.  I spent $8.00 for a bird embellished cast iron toilet paper holder on Ebay.  The antique Mexican hanging light was 98 cents and my hand painted peacock blue Talavara sink a whopping $24.00. Fun stuff!

The studio itself is a soft winter white with plenty of ambient light.  Ah the light!!!   Dreamie.  Churchee.  Inspiring.  Inviting – a perfect place for the Muses to play.  I have been giggling vivid colors onto the walls in the study, the bathroom and the nap room.  Just think – for 16 years I have lived in a small log cabin which means that sheet rocked walls have never existed for me to splash color onto!  Oh the possibilities!!!

“Calypso Blue,” golden yellow and deep purple compliment the painted sink in the bathroom and transport the space into a south-of-the-border feeling.  “Limelicious, ” “Limeburst,” and “Celery” combine to create a zap-happy study and kitchenette.  Like a good dose of wasabi to my visual senses – the walls tickle my spirit.  The nap room is tucked into the clerestory above the study and has just been renamed “The Nest.”   Painted in a warm peachy light terracotta faux Venetian plaster – the room will be a restful haven complete with birds and buddhas.

Behind the scenes - beneath the paint, the stain, the trim and the fluff churns new purpose, vision and direction for my creative life.  Damn exciting.

 

Here it is Friday morning already!  Snuggled deep under the covers, a heavy lidded sun slovenly hints at the horizon with a streak of ice blue.  Wind blows.  The desk is piled with mail, exhibit applications and post-it notes with seemingly endless “to dos.”
I left my computer home last weekend while I enjoyed a complimentary ski trip and then hit the ground running upon my return - thus Friday seems to have budged to the front of the line and arrived prematurely.  Paul has some clients who put us up in a comfy condo at the base of a ski resort in Steamboat Springs, gave us ski passes, a rental car, and rental skis.  The trip was too good to pass up but I drug my knuckles and grumbled at the thought of leaving since the studio is nearly complete.  I am more-than-eager to finish up, move in, and get to work!!!  
BUT I had no idea just how much a spin out of town would salivate my creative art glands.  I slurped up the art scene like a parched woman.  Sipping, lapping, dunking and gorging myself at the Denver Art Museum I felt my pores open up to soak it all in.  After years of struggling without a real creative space I find myself shifting internally as the studio nears completion.  A whole new novel in the series of my life is set to go to press.  Many of the feelings Snoopy-dancing in my soul are similar to the hungry excited curious and driven passion I felt in my early twenties when I jumped on a Greyhound bus in Bozeman and rode to Seattle for a museum fix and to buy my first four chisels at a wood workers store.  A few years earlier colorful cravings drove me to charge a bus ticket from Montana to New York after I received a full scholarship to the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Art in Philadelphia.  Actually much of my life is fueled by the passion to create and to visually gobble up creations by others. A recent life chapter focused on survival mode, family and transitions.  Large life shifts shoved some of my creative hunger cravings into a dusty dark corner but they are impossible to ignore and certainly haven’t lost any of their sparkle!  Last weekend was a yummy chunk of soul food.  My thirst is far from quenched but feeling thirsty feels good!

I bought a beautiful museum book about Louis Bourgeous.  She too suffered from insomnia.  She also journaled.  Somehow my journal habit fostered for decades has been on hiatus since social media and blogging entered my life.  I vow to return to the blank book and pen as I dive into the juicy creative tank – eyes wide open.   

 

The only thing that can tear me away from the NEW studio right now are commitments made before this wonderful exciting stage of painting and staining the interior.  Heck, Paul has a client who is treating us to a complimentary weekend of skiing at Steamboat Springs and I can hardly stand the idea of leaving my new beautifully sun lit creative space for four days – so much to do and I LOVE LOVE LOVE being in the space.   The idea of catching a plane early in the morning feels like putting down a well written completely engaging book just before the final chapter – torture (of the best kind). The clearstory is brilliant.  The windows and light beam a chorus of smiles from the sun.  The walls are pristine white and the windows trimmed simply in pine creating a rather church-ee feeling with the height and light.  Perfect place for the Muses to sing, dance, worship, play, and nap.  Placed on the west end of an open mountain meadow, the building captures the very first rays of sun each morning.  I actually stepped into the sunlight just a few feet before stepping into the door of the studio early yesterday morning.  Grinning.

One of the commitments which pulled me from the studio Tuesday was my weekly volunteer ski day for Eaglemount.  Jackie giggles and grins her way down the mountain.  Sometimes she makes race car noises.  She gets cold easily so we “group hug” on the chairlift spinning tales, singing made up songs and thinking of ways to make her giggle more.  She always has a stuffed animal or two for skiing companions.  I am still learning the intricacies of just how to guide the sit ski down the slope which means Jackie and the stuffed animals get more of a bouncy ride when I take the tethers but she seems to love it – ALL.

 

 

 

 

Here’s a picture of the studio freshly sheetrocked.  Each day brings exciting changes (Calypso Blue in the bathroom complete with a vanity which I stained deep purple, doors, windows, trim, etc.)  More pictures soon…

 

What does an artist do during 3 months of being totally studio-less?  Obsessive Ebay searches and paint chip collecting.  I have lived in a log cabin for the last 16 years and the studios inhabited haven't been mine to mess with so for the first time in decades there are brand spanking new white walls craving color AND I get to do whatever I want!!!  Also a heated cement slab floor and some plywood floors will be stained - colorful of course!  The kids are excited to help.  We’ve packed brushes, rollers and winter gear for the first day of painting and staining the studio interior.  Epic sledding breaks are planned (thus the winter gear).  Crazy happy excited to launch into the space and begin the process of making it my own.  Of course the main studio will remain white so that I have a blank canvas space to work within.  My Sunday will be spend snoopy dancing, paint flinging and grinning inside the NEW studio!!!

 

How about this festive Talavera Mexican sink I found on Ebay for $24.00?!  I will be staining the cabinet deep purple for this bright happy sink to set into.  Yesterday I bought a BIG utility sink for the studio - funny how much fun it was to purchase a big o'l utility sink of my own!  The silly sink has no idea how much work it will do.  Right now it is so clean and shiny that I am tempted to put a bow on it. 

I guess 2:15 a.m. is about the middle of the night.  I am simply not used to warm nights - not even summer in Montana has many warm nights but here I am dorking around in the middle of the night in flip flops and shorts and it's February.  I am leaving in an hour to catch an early flight out of San Antonio.  Ranch life is sweet and my hosts are awesome but I hear my studio calling me.  When I left a week ago three fellas were spraying insulation. I guess the place has been totally sheet-rocked this week which means I can paint the interior walls next week – fun colors in the bathroom, the office, and the nap room.  My excitement is bubbling – tickling my nose and fizzing my innards.

Can you see three guys in this photo?

Paul took this picture Thursday.  I haven’t been on site since Monday morning (this is a Bozeman week with the munchkins).  I can hardly wait to stand inside and look out a window.  Just opening a door will make all of this seem more real.  Plumbing is going in.  I hear I have a shower stall.  Duel flush toilet from Costco (great price!) will go in soon.   We haven’t set up a cistern for water yet.  Keep your fingers crossed that we find water the next time we drill!  Itch’n to move in!

 

 

I love the fact that Zaydee made it into the feature article written by Donna Healy of the Billings Gazette!  Many of you knew Shiva, the special dog who shared a precious chunk of my life with me.  Shiva used to always upstage me whenever photographers showed up.  A natural model and total ham for the camera, Shiva would glean the lime-light whenever it so much as glanced my direction – just look at the past articles and TV spots on my Artist Page. Zaydee is a whole other cookie.  Horribly abused before being rescued by a sweet Montana couple, Zaydee showed up in my life as a bit of a basket case.  She’s come a LONG way!!  No longer scared of her own shadow - much less the power tools in my studio – she relaxes and hangs out with me while I work.  She barks to let me know if someone is around (usually I have ear plugs in and am oblivious).  Zaydee has warmed up to the camera – or at least relaxed enough that Bob Zellar from the Billings Gazette captured this photo of her napping in the mesquite sawdust.  The whole article along with a short video can be viewed on the Billings Gazette website (yes – Zaydee is in the video too!!!) 

 

Sub zero temps put a halt to progress this week until yesterday when the boys were able to nearly finish the clearstory!!  The purpose of the clearstory it to allow ambient light into my studio (the windows haven’t been cut yet- they will be much bigger than the picture shows).  The BIG bonus of this particular clearstory is the nap room which will be in the back.  YUP!!  Thanks to Paul’s brainstorm, the nap room will sit up there like an observatory – perfect place to close my peepers or blow kisses to the sky!!!

 

 

WAHOOOOOO!!!!

Post-trip bliss had me beginning to believe that the drama in my world might be simmering down enough to have more of a balanced routine in my life. More time for friends, outdoor excursions, and the exciting conclusion of a large sculpture project done during reasonable hours at the studio…just in time for the holidays with Paul, my mom, and the kids.

Alas – the very morning this thought ambled longingly through my mind, I arrived at the studio and found a nasty eviction notice taped to the door. Long story but the short version is simply that the sweet folks who own the building have given it up in a painful hostage takeover forced by their new son-in-law. He’s an unpleasant 3-time felon thug who has not responded to our reasonable requests to rent the space for a few more months. Seems he would rather have the worn out shell-of-a-building sit vacant just as it did for four years before the three of us gals moved in. Panic. Deep breaths.  None of us want to be in a space with that kind of energy threatening us. So I’ve begun once again to pull double shifts and pop vitamin C to build up for the triple shifts it’ll take to finish the Devil Woman Saloon sculptures, pack and deliver a 5-piece large sculpture exhibition, and gather up all my studio stuff for storage. I have a week and a half. Paul will be gone to Carson City all of next week attending the funeral of his close childhood friend. Yesterday a girlfriend jumped in with lunch, did the grocery shopping for my mom, and took the girls to mom’s for cookie baking to give me more much-needed precious focused studio time. Kirston has found another space. We’re helping Stacey find something affordable. The walls are going up at my very own soon-to-be realized studio on the mountain. I’ve a zillion ideas for spending my studio-less time but right now I am in survival mode, cranking out piles of woodchips and sawdust and eating LOTS of cookies and chocolate.

Insomnia kept me stirring late these past few nights, wide-eyed and blinking at the stardust. My heart has been extra soft, gushy and pained these past two weeks as if all the sunshine in my life has illuminated the path of grief and loss. I feel more now than I did those first months after my father’s death. A friend offered some enlightenment; perhaps as I move out of pure survival mode I find myself in a place where support is strong, gifts are abundant and thus the grieving process amps up since I can process more. 

The Cosmos is right there with me, spinning an ever-perfect web. For instance, just last week Hospice held a special memorial tribute in the beautiful stained glass adorned chapel at the hospital. All those who passed away under Hospice care during the first six months of this year were acknowledged. A young pregnant musician accompanied the service with her sweet clear voice and guitar,  two ministers conducted the memorial. My mom, Paul, the kids and I took up a whole row in the tiny chapel.   Sun shone through the two story stained glass chapel wall. Stunning. A fountain splashed soothingly - a water whisper affirming life; cycles, continuity and comfort. 

Just a few moons ago I spent time alone in the chapel during my father’s brief hospital stay. After a routine doctor appointment Dad had been admitted to the hospital for tests. That evening Dad and I were told that he had fourth stage pancreatic cancer. Early the next morning I visited the chapel just after the sun came up. I completed a series of Sun Salutations (yoga) right there on the chapel floor with the soothing fountain coaching me to take deep breaths, find my center and focus on love. Here I was in that chapel again for a memorial service surrounded by my new family, sitting next to my little mother and listening to the fountain while taking deep breaths.

“You won’t manifest it unless you can visualize it,” Paul said to me several times during the past two years. He would push a blank piece of paper under my nose after breakfast or get out a pen to draw on a napkin during dinner - each time coaxing me to draw my dream studio. Deeply impressed that he actually used the words visualize and manifest (seriously…this coming from a man with work hardened calloused hands) I realized with shock that I had lost a bit of my own belief in magic. Somehow my optimism lost its polish these past few years while faced with financial challenges, major surgery, no insurance, large medical bills, a bank which seemed keen to take my home and no studio to work in. Paul’s belief in manifesting fueled my imagination. I started taking pictures of old barn buildings, sketched and talked about my dream studio.  He began to salvage wood.

A shift occurred. Tarnished tired places began to beam. Polished. My belief in the BIG picture strengthened me during my father’s sudden terminal illness and death. I grieve. I embrace blessings too numerous to count. 

Now this:

 

The Universe has stepped up and drawn aside a huge heavy stage curtain with relish and a big “TA DA!!”

 

A rather recent client bloomed instantly into a friend.  Now the beautiful bloom has sprouted into patron who hired Paul (without telling me) to build a studio for me on the mountain!!!!!

The studio smells like fresh varnish, Chinese food and chocolate as I pull lonnnnnnnnnnng hours preparing for the Women Who Design the West show in Cody Wyoming where I will be inducted into the Stetson Craftsman Alliance along with 9 other fine gals.  Come visit the show September 23-25. 

My new Eagle America router bits cut hard wood like butter. No kidding. Slick. Smooth. Fast. Maybe “butter” is the wrong description since it implies the potential for mushy cuts but there is nothing mushy or sluggish about these precise crisp clean cutters. I cut deep. I remove LOTS of wood. I am working with raw logs not select precut prepared lumber. My current project is mesquite. Each 2000 pound log has intensely hard knots, sneaky soft spots and hidden holes - a combination of variables like little traps just waiting to muck up that perfect cut when free routing.  Dull, quick-to-dull, or easy-to-chip bits make the project of routing one inch deep in moody hardwood a potentially expensive disaster. Wrestling with low-quality bits turns the joy of working with wood into a task – much like trudging uphill on a slippery jagged slope with a ridiculously heavy pack and boots that hurt. 

Climbing mountains is one of my favorite outdoor pursuits. Running is a good way to stay in shape for my outdoor endeavors but I have never really liked running very much, especially uphill.  Jogging downhill is a welcome confidence boost. When my travels take me to sea level, I run with the theme song for “Rocky” in my head while resisting the temptation to throw up my arms and do the Rocky dance.  Do you remember the dance?  Sylvester Stalone does it at the top of the Philadelphia Art Museum steps (where I went to art school).  Eagle America recently sent me some complimentary new router bits to try and I can honestly say the theme for “Rocky” bounced in my head while the chips and sawdust piled up around me. Satisfying.

"Jubilee"

Three days of working in an air conditioned studio on a BIG beautiful ranch in Texas sandwiched between two days of travel last week. Travel days would be fun if it weren’t for the fact that I am easily prone to motion sickness. “Easily prone” means that I can get sick on a swing set. No exaggeration. But the recent commission is complete. I returned to my Montana studio yesterday and took a nap since I was too tuckered from my flight home to take after the big mesquite scultpures with power tools. 

Before the Texas trip, Patron Members got to see a preview of seven NEW artworks. “Jubilee” found a home right away and two other artworks were snatched up by my collectors. Thus, four new artworks have been posted on my site today. If you can identify just one of them as brand new then post a comment with your guess and if you are right, I will let you pick a limited edition print for free.

Take a look. Venture a guess…

Back in the studio making a mess with power tools and chisels has me feeling more like myself than I have felt in a good long while. I can hardly stand to take a day off since “work” entices. My paws are sore (out of shape) but it is SUCH a good feeling!!!

I guess the sawdust will get to settle a bit since early in the morning I have a plane to catch. Texas is my destination.  My "studio" for the next few days will be in the warehouse next to the chicken yard at Chaco Ranch.  I have a commission to complete. 

Have I mentioned the powerful, creative, fun, funny, women with whom I currently share a large studio space? After a few decades of blissful hermitude + sweet solitary studio space - life has plopped me right down into the middle of a spacious building in Bozeman with two inspiring chicks. 

Kirsten Kainz is a talented welder who turns her passion for critters and eclectic found metal objects into wonderful, whimsical, grand sculptures. Her humor, keen eye, and boldness shine through the animal sculptures she creates with wit, grit and a grin. I have a huge crush on “Lewis“… the big three-wheeled rabbit who has hung out at the studio since spring while an awesome toad, a well-hung bull, a rooster, a wolf, a snail and lotsa crazy bugs have taken form under the creative talent of a gal who uses a Harley jacket as part of her welding “get up.” A solo show of her sculptures opens tomorrow night at Visions West Gallery in Bozeman.  Stacey Herries, my other studio-mate will be featured in "Studio Chicks - part two"   Meanwhile, check out this rabbit…!    

Listening to the roosters’ crow, the hens cackle and the ducks quack - all that "carrying on" is my favorite part of working at the “studio” on the Texas ranch (well…that AND the air conditioning!)

Ok. Yes. See? Your suggestions and requests are appreciated and even acted upon. Despite my own reluctance to print a poster or create a DVD…well…I did…! The poster features three detailed carving pictures to inspire you in the workshop. The DVD has video clips from multiple TV features…fun stuff…a peek into life inside and outside my studio and even one pretty funny stint on a game show. Game show?!

Yup   Years ago a producer read an article about the huge chocolate carvings I created for Nestle in a glossy women’s magazine. He insisted on flying me to LA, picking me up in a limousine, putting me up in a posh hotel, and taping this show. Personally I was uncomfortable with the amount of lipstick their make-up person put on me but the whole experience was a fun quirky adventure (maybe I even won...but I won’t tell).