Wicked week

Sleep goblins snatched much needed rest; left my insides coated with sticky muck and darkened my mood last week. Even my best intentions and less-than-lofty ideas got mired in the goo. Any attempts to clean up seemed futile. The more I rubbed and scrubbed, the messier and darker I felt. Many of the yummy things in life have messy moments (i.e. making art…making love) so why fight it? But I was frustrated to tears, frightened, and grumpy.
I took Sunday off. Indulged in an order of biscuits ‘n gravy AND a cinnamon scone served by the sweet ladies at Wheat Montana while on the way to Indian Creek Canyon for an afternoon of hot rock and good climbing. Despite the treats and the sunshine, the muck lingered. Fear flared as I took the “sharp end of the rope” and led a few climbs up the rock. I shook. I took deep breaths. I rolled my eyeballs when my partner tried to make jokes. Sometimes men are…well…MEN!! My lips tightened in a grimace more than once despite his best efforts. I could not sincerely grin. The rock was inviting and challenging. I climbed klutzy with hesitation but I did not quit. I accomplished one climb and then another, and another…and another. Here’s where I’d like to write that I climbed myself out of the bad mood. “The sunshine, the happy dogs, the good food, and the kind company polished that black gook into bright dazzling clean happy innards.”
My mood did not noticeably change. I didn’t kick, hit, spit or scream but felt like the goblins had taken those liberties with me. Pummeled and panting, I continued to climb. I wanted to be happy. I get mad at myself when grasped by the goblins. I told my climbing partner that I felt like a big zit that needed to be squeezed to release the foul fluid suffocating my soul. Perhaps if I could figure out the source of the infection, I could cure it. Many possibilities…but here’s where I’ll edit my journal writing so this remains a blog post and not a whole chapter. Simply said, life can be complicated.
You’ll never guess what finally blew my mood later that day from dark and dreary to light and fluffy! But I’ve run out of time and will have to leave you hanging until I can tell that part of the story.
Stay tuned!