The Things That Hold On

I’ve claimed old “Cliff things” over the years and woven them into my studio and life—at first as a way to move through grief, and always as a way to honor his presence.

Cliff had so many tire chains draped from the stout branches of the trees around his cabin, it was as if the forest itself wore his handiwork. I’ve since used those chains to adorn not only my studio, but also his cabin—now a vacation rental—and his old sawmill, which is slowly being transformed into an office and workshop for Raymond.

The curvy tractor wrenches are a collection of my own—gathered slowly over time, but with new devotion during the quiet solitude of Covid.

Crystals and rust. Stones and glass. Spirit and steel.

But the most precious tradition of all—the one that still makes my heart catch—is the springtime hanging plant.

Every spring, Cliff used to bring a plant to brighten the front of my studio—his quiet way of showing up, of tending. He’d hook it onto the frilly, wrought iron hanger outside my door, like clockwork.

The first spring after he passed, my mother-in-law arrived with a plant in hand and a card that simply said the plant was from Cliff.

I cried. Hard.

That spring, I gently hung the old timber sling hook—one Cliff once used—onto the frilly one. Then I hung the “Cliff plant” from it.

Some gestures are more than tradition.
They’re echoes of love…

Mother’s Day at the Filigree Altar

The grouse began drumming as the sun was just beginning to streak pink across the horizon—a low, rhythmic pulse echoing through the trees, like the forest remembering the heartbeat of spring.

Barefoot, I stepped onto the soft green grass. The earth, still dappled with patches of melting snow, welcomed me with a chill and the thrum of new life.

I carried a steaming cup of ceremonial cacao to the small, white filigree garden set—an heirloom once belonging to my grandmother, then my mother. Their hands touched it. Their stories linger in its delicate curves.

As a child, I held tea parties for stuffed animals and imaginary friends on that delicate-looking furniture when it beckoned to me from the manicured lawn of my grandparents’ Nebraska farm. Now an altar, the white, doily-like filigree carries more than its weight in wrought iron—it holds memory, moonlight, magic, and the soft laughter of children across time.

I sat. I prayed. I sipped. Heart open, I honored the women who shaped me—now beyond the veil, yet so deeply present. Their love stirs in the breeze, shimmers in sunlight, and wakens the motherliness in my bones.

Happy Birthday Tala

Ten years ago this BIG little spirit came into this world and found her way into hearts. Born the day after New Year’s, we brought her home the day after Valentine’s at just 5 weeks old. Seems like simply months ago rather than years. Raymond and I had to do the math a few times together to be certain that she is already a decade old. Full of life and overflowing with smarts.

Happy Birthday Tala.

Tala is ten…!

Chasing Frost: Ice Climbing at The Cooke Out in Cooke City

Nestled in the rugged terrain of Montana, Cooke City is a hidden gem with a tight-knit community of just 77 residents and blissfully devoid of cell service. Last weekend, Raymond and I had the pleasure of returning to this remote enclave for the second annual ice festival, The Cooke Out, masterminded by our friend Aaron Mulkey—a stellar athlete and the driving force behind Coldfear.

The Cooke Out is not your typical festival; it's an intimate, grassroots gathering that draws ice climbing enthusiasts from across the region to celebrate their passion amidst the stunning frozen waterfalls of Cooke City. Unlike larger, more commercial festivals, The Cooke Out offers a unique, personal experience that reflects the spirit of the ice climbing community—bonding over shared challenges and the raw beauty of Montana's winter landscape.

Each ascent on the icy crags not only tests my physical limits but also sparks a surge of creativity. The majestic, frost-laden settings fuel my imagination, translating into dynamic forms and themes once I’m back in my studio. These adventures outdoors are not just escapes—they are essential to my artistic process, providing fresh inspiration that I channel into my sculptures and paintings. The seamless transition from the exhilarating heights of ice climbing to the contemplative solitude of my studio is where my creativity thrives, shaping art that echoes the wild beauty of Montana.

My life changed forever...

Thirty years ago lightning struck. That charged bolt of light from the Thunder Beings led to one of the absolute greatest blessings and dearest loves of my life.
Cliff saw the lightning strike while logging with two buddies up Smith Creek in the Crazy Mountains; then they saw the smoke rise. Winds had already whipped the fire into a blaze when they got to it but they worked together to saw trees down to protect a batch of cabins. The buffer zone Cliff, Ralph and Mo created during the hours before the Forest Service arrived saved what turned out to be third-generation-owned historical cabins.
Thirty years ago this month when I returned to the Forest Service office in West Yellowstone after a 4-day hitch alone in the backcountry as a wilderness ranger, I was immediately sent along with another fella to the Crazies to help fight what had become a large 5-division fire.
A few days later in a quirky twist of fate, Cliff and I ended up working together as a two-person saw team on the Smith Creek Fire. I’d never seen anyone so skilled with a saw. His biceps were as big around as my thighs. He wielded a 36” bar on his saw with calm coolness and eyes that sparkled like Santa Claus.
The friendship begun in the blackened soot on steep slopes beneath blue skies defies definition and forged much of who I am, where I live and how I show up in this world. I’ve grieved him perhaps more this October than a handful of the last Octobers. Autumn this year has played out much like it did that season, languid and long with lavish foliage, starry nights, exceptionally warm days and a handful of dramatic storms. The past few weeks I’ve shed tears beneath stars, at sunrise and sunset and spaces between. I’ve also reveled in the warm fuzzies and awe of the love we shared for each other and this mountain.
I am lucky. So. Damn. Lucky.
Everyone should have a Cliff in their life. I can’t imagine my life without having had him in it.
Happy Birthday dear Cliff! I miss you beyond words. I love you dearly. Eternally.

Memorable Easter Sunday

Raymond and I were honored to share Easter Sunday adventures on ice with legends Pat Callis and Conrad Anker. Pat is an 86 year old sprite who discovered the ice at Hyalite Canyon decades ago. He is a full time professor at MSU and inspires us all with his gumption and strength.

I highly recommend the documentary “Piton” about Pat Callis for inspiration.

Google Conrad Anker hours of articles (cover of National Geographic, TIME, Outside, etc. The stellar documentary movie Meru is one of our favorites.