Walking Down the Aisle

During the few months leading up to our big day, I imagined the moment when Cliff would walk me down the aisle. I would lean into him as I’d done for the better part of my adult life. He would offer his never-in-a-gym bulging mountain man arm for me to wrap into. He would have said something “Cliffy” in that moment meant only for me but loud enough for the guests, the birds and the bears to hear. Whatever he uttered would have been unpredictable with the exception of the inevitable endearment “Honey” spoken like a punctuation point; laden and dripping with golden sweet richness.

Guests wrote on prayer flags and tied them to the Aspen tree under which Cliff and I would have begun the wedding walk together. Strips of wispy white cotton blasted prayers, love and grace which emboldened the steps I took alone.

Not alone.

Despite many kind offers to walk me down the aisle no one could have taken Cliff’s place.

Musical notes leapt from Leslie’s violin and danced with birdsong. I began the walk, seven years ago today.

Season's First Summit

BEAUTIFUL and stunningly memorable summit shared with a dear friend - AND a violinist and ballerina who performed on the summit.

Carrie Krause and Genevieve Tygstad-Burke perform on top of Blackmore Peak (see article here)

BIG "Little" Soren at the Eaglemount Playground

Years ago I created a very special palm-size bronze eaglet sculpture for Eaglemount - a near-and-dear-to-my-heart non-profit. The little sculpture was named after an inspiring youngster who lost his life to cancer. The “little eaglet who could” sculpture continues to help raise funds for Eaglemount. A few years later I was commissioned to create a large version of the little bugger for Eaglemount’s new playground. We visited recently for a community event when Raymond snapped this candid photo.

Sculpture in the Park

Declared by WOOD magazine one of “America’s Woodworking Greats,” Amber Jean was asked by the prime minister of Bhutan to carve an art piece for the retreat palace of the country’s king. Her bronzes are cast from carved wood, such as the life-size bison sculpture at the Bozeman International Airport in Montana. She was voted one of the “Top 25” out of 1500 artists from fifty-three countries at the ArtPrize Competition and Festival in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She is also one of ten women inducted into the Stetson Craftsman’s Alliance. Her work is featured on the Wood Sculpting TV series produced by DIY, and on the Oxygen Network Pure Oxygen show. Her palm-size animal sculptures cast in solid bronze are collected worldwide.

“Spring” - carved in wood and cast in a limited edition bronze

Encouraged by two of the talented artists who work at the foundry in Loveland (where my sculptures are cast in bronze) “Sculpture in the Park” is the largest juried bronze sculpture show in the states. Raymond and I will travel to Loveland next month for the show.

Bozeman Art Museum - "Sacred Roots" exhibit

What a beautiful show….!

Honored to be included in a show with artists such as Debbie Butterfield and others…

Sacred Roots

“Secret Miracles at Work” was the very first reliquary tree sculpture. Daisy let me work in Freeman’s studio back then. I’d had this vision of opening trees…the niche and the hinges were essential clear-to-me basics of the vision.

Three eggs; nested - were an image that appeared three totally different occasions in various ways that couldn’t be ignored and offered a starting point. Four more reliquary trees completed the first series. This first sculpture in the first series was the beginning yet it was also a punctuation point for me as the idea of adding my grandmother’s lingerie persisted ‘til I listened; finally adding the lacy embellishment as the final touch to this piece upon completing the series.

“Sacred Roots” is the compelling title of the current exhibition at the Bozeman Art Museum in which I’m honored to have been asked to show along with the compelling artworks of many artists whom I admire in a theme near and dear to my heart.

“Secret Miracles at Work” - the very first tree reliquary

Ray's Memorial

I wore mother’s wedding ring, my owl Cliff ring, my aunt Nora’s custom made-for-her hat, a dress Raymond brought home for me from bull fighting school, a handmade deer skin blazer which has its own special story, earrings my niece made, a gemstone necklace and several bracelets gifted from friends and my peace/love boots.

Emotional, spiritual and challenging days like Ray’s memorial, I welcome the energy and comfort felt from the things chosen to wear. The spirit and stories of loved ones attached to the adornments empower and deepen connection. Emboldened with meaning; past and present adds presence.

Ray’s memorial service was the most intentional and beautifully meaningful tribute I’ve witnessed so far in my life. More than four hundred people attended. Through them I was gifted an even deeper insight into the quietly humble yet highly impactful life my father-in-law led. We grieve and we feel blessed.

My dear father-in-law

My dear sweet, heart-smart, super kind, extraordinarily intelligent and deeply loving Father-in-law slipped away quietly in his sleep at home yesterday morning after a seven year battle with Alzheimer’s.

The candid photo taken by Robert Osborne and published in Osborne’s book “The Cowboys of Montana” is shared here more for the scrawled inscription than the classic image of Ray (although I LOVE the photo).

We’ve been losing Ray bit by bit for longer than I had the privilege of knowing him fully as his PhD self. But the thing with Ray - he was so authentically open, humble, approachable and loving that even a stranger could quickly feel like (or wish they were) kin to this magnetic man. That part of Ray was never lost.

I can not begin to express my honor at being able to call him “Dad” or the depth of my gratitude for the gift of Ray in my life.

Dr. Ray Ansotegui - July 11,1947-March 2,2023

Dancing with Bulls - insight into the world of protecting bull riders in the rodeo arena

My husband Raymond shared thoughtful insight with passion and humility on the TED stage. Everyone who takes a few moments to watch his talk feels changed, inspired and enlightened…

Raising Funds for Flood Relief

Raymond took the “Jake Bank” to a coffee shop to help raise funds for our local animal shelter. The staff had to act fast when the shelter was overtaken by water in minutes. Some dogs were stuff into kennels and placed on the upper floor of the barn, then rescued in canoes later by Swift Water Rescue. The shelter is a total loss but all the animals (including the little goldfish) were rescued. The “Jake Bank” has raised a few thousand dollars for the shelter during the last decade but managed to raise over $5000 the first week it was in town after the flood.

Jake gets a loving polish at the coffee shop

Unprecedented Montana Springtime Floods

Momma Nature expressed her potent power this week. The usual springtime high mountain snow melt which swells creeks, streams and rivers was amped by excessive rain destabilizing the snow which unleashed a fury of flooding and mudslides throughout Montana. Raymond took this photo from our place. Normal spring conditions would show the Yellowstone River like a fattened snake winding it way on the edge of town rather than the isle, island and wetland scene shown. My friend Storrs took the following photo as volunteers filled and carted sandbags deep into the Strawberry Full Moon night. Ten thousand tourists were safely evacuated from Yellowstone Park. No lives lost. Counting the blessings while appreciating the beauty of nature and humanity alike - not taking anything for granted.

Happy Easter!

Bunny tracks in the snow - Easter blessings abound…

TED Talk'n

Selected in 2019 for the TED stage, Raymond’s talk was delayed. Twice. (COVID). He worked HARD putting together an eye-opening and moving eight minute talk that I can hardly wait to share (once TED posts it online).

Raymond stretched minds and hearts when he took the stage Saturday. Humility, courage, insight, power, vulnerability and presence; he enraptured the audience. I’m in awe and PROUD!!!

Years ago, I shared the TED stage with one of my sculptures. Someday - I hope to take to the TED stage again as I’ve much room for improvement to more deeply share and connect with words - the creative spirit and the spirit within all things.

Years ago on the TED stage with one of my sculptures…

"Show the Flag" exhibit at Stapleton Gallery

For thousands of years, prayer flags have been created and hung to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. Just as life moves on and is replaced by life - wind, weather and time tattered the flags Raymond and I brought home from Bhutan. The faded prayer cloth is gracing new artworks. The prayers continue with love and compassion. I appreciate the meditative space a recent new series with pieces of the prayer flags evokes in the group show “Show the Flag” at Stapleton Gallery. The artists’ various emotional responses to the American flag results in an evoking show (open for viewing by appointment and online). I chose prayer flags as a medium rather than the American flag - they are a reflective contrast. A large church pew sits in front of them.

Tropical Honeymoon

Nearly four years have zipped by since Raymond and I wed. The honeymoon just hadn’t happened despite the fact that it was a wedding gift from Raymond’s sister and her husband. The fact that they gifted us some cash for plane tickets this past Christmas seemed like more-than-a hint; perhaps we should figure a honeymoon into 2020. One dark evening in February while digging my truck out of an impossibly long and deep snowdrift during a full-on blizzard - I decided perhaps it was time to go on a honeymoon; one week in paradise at a resort complete with beach and jungle. Two weeks later Raymond and I enjoyed a purely relaxing magical week together - literally just moments before the whole Covid-19 implications changed all of our worlds. What a blessing….!

Birthday Blessings

Between sketchy backcountry roads and avalanche danger threatening many ice climbs; my super sweet climbing partner (dear friend Supy) treated me to a stellar fantastically fun blue bird ski day at Bridger Bowl for my birthday. Delicious home-made-with-love-by-my-mother-in-law German Chocolate Cake packed in a carrier was our pre-ski and apres-ski snack. Candlelight claw foot tub soak with wine and appetizers prepared by Raymond. The rest of the cozy-at-home birthday date night with my husband was dreamy. Still smiling from the inside out with gratitude and awe. Damn I’m lucky.

Valentine's Day - memories of mother

Mom was giddy. Those first years after cancer took Dad, Mom stepped out with sweet eager curiosity and newfound freedom. She wanted her hair short (something Dad didn’t encourage). She was keen to embrace life, love and be seen. Alzheimer’s had moved into her mind years earlier. Our response to its hunger and greed during this short bright chapter (before it gobbled voraciously) was to seek out and soak up the bright moments sparkling in the simplest things - like the photo booth at a Tart Gallery Valentine’s party eight years ago. Today was a somewhat rare domestic day for me. I cleaned our home and baked cookies. A few simple kitchen gestures are linked directly to Mom (fluff the flour with a spoon, flip the spoon to make chopping motions on the flour in the measuring cup before dispensing the excess to make a perfect measurement). Mom ground her own flour (the gluten-free almond flour I use a distant cousin). I felt Mom in my kitchen today. A smile rides alongside my tears as the last batch of cookies bake in the oven. Happy Valentines Mom. I love you.

Blazing Saddles Ride

Yesterday kicked my ass. And my CROTCH. And the bottoms of my feet, my toes, my forearms and my neck. But mostly my crotch. Fortunately my thighs, calves and lungs held up pretty damn good for the whole 100 miles. My spirit wavered occasionally and I had the shit scared out of me twice. But it was worth it.

Fifty people donated in support of my ride. Together we raised over $3000 of the $15,000 at the Blazing Saddles event to help Montana families of children with cancer. Your support helped carry me across those miles.

When I faced a knurly headwind during the 8th hour on that tiny abusive seat on top of those impossibly skinny hard tires I swore out loud. Seriously. I also panted a mantra the last few miles, “you are healthy – you are healthy – you are healthy” which was as close as I could get to “you are strong” and “you got this” because at those moments when the wind pounded my spirit and the relentless deep cracks in the pavement punched my softest most sensitive parts, I didn’t feel like I “had this” or that I was “strong.” I felt like crying and more than anything I wanted to be DONE.

My pain was real. But I was heartily aware that my pain was temporary and a self-imposed “luxury” that comes from a choice I made while being healthy, unlike young’uns faced with cancer. Cancer has touched all of us one way or another. I witnessed my father’s last breath when pancreatic cancer took him. I saw the fear in my mother’s eyes when they wheeled her away to cut off her breast. The day before the ride a courageous dear friend who continues to fight texted (without whining) that he was “Feeling lousy today. Weak from chemo and sick.”

I do not personally know a child with cancer but I thought about three new babies recently born to 3 of the ten couples Raymond has married. I rode for those healthy babies and their future even as I road for the children currently fighting. Yesterday was the kind of day that took me places within myself that are both personal and not-at-all about “self.”

It’s not too late to donate: The Payden Foundation

Carving for the King - inspiring slideshow

I became the first woman to carve in the country of Bhutan when the Prime Minister (his Excellency Dasho Tshering Tobgay) asked me to create an artwork in a retreat palace for their revered king.  My adventurous story unfolded during three lengthy trips to the fairytale kingdom of Bhutan nestled high in the Himalayan Mountains. 

“Bhutan is a magical country steeped in tradition, color and kindness. My experience was transformative; which means of course that along with vivid rich awe-inspiring joy there were intense challenges on top of challenges that tested my mettle.I dug deep. Art triumphed. Both myself and the country are forever changed.”

JULY 16

6:30-8:00

at the Museum of the Rockies

(hosted by the Bozeman Art Museum)